New Muslim in Salt Lake City, Utah, USA Assalamu alaykum!
My Name is Scott. I'm a new Muslim as of Friday the 29th of August (3 days ago!), when I took the Shahadah at the local mosque. I never thought that I would tearfully and lovingly embrace a faith that at one time I mistakenly believed was perhaps the cause of so much misery in the world today.
A little background on myself. I was born back in 1967 (yeah, I'm old!) in Seattle, on the coast of Washington State. I was raised in the Latter Day Saint, or Mormon, faith tradition. Although I believed in what I was taught at church as spiritual truth, there was a teeny tiny lingering what if... uncertainty hiding in the back of my mind that just wouldn't go away. I ignored this as best I could, being told to never question the truth because that, in itself, was viewed as opening a doorway to let Satan into my head. Now mind you, I'm not the kind of person that wanted to explore other faiths as an alternate possibility. But what if my faith in God was misguided? I was happy, wasn't I?
As my life progressed, I realized I could no longer believe in a faith blindly. This hurt. I decided that in order to find peace and correct my misgivings, I had to prove my beliefs were true. So began my journey.
Initially I researched my chosen faith (LDS) in depth expecting to find answers to strengthen my testimony in it. All I came up with was more questions and worst of all, vast scientific inaccuracies existed between the holy texts and proven discoveries. I won't go into exactly what they are, because I'm not here to insult a good faith, but as a lover of science (I'm not a strict evolutionist type) I needed logical justification of ideas presented within the holy texts. When this couldn't be met, I fell into despair. I tried to reconcile by analyzing the spiritual side alone, and that just made things worse. There was too many holes.
Quietly I regressed into a spiritual void. I no longer had faith in what I was raised under and I began to believe that perhaps God, still my only light, had no true religion on Earth. I researched multiple other faiths, but each one had severe shortcomings. Atheism doesn't prove anything. I didn't believe in reincarnation. I couldn't handle paganism. Why in Christianity did people need to pray through God's son or avatar and accept him (the son or avatar) as the only way to redemption by virtue of a sacrifice that makes no sense? Isn't God all powerful? Can't He just forgive?
Back then, I knew this in my heart:
1) There is only ONE God.
2) He doesn't need to split himself up or have a son.
3) Original sin doesn't exist (Mormons believe this also).
4) A person should be able to pray straight to The Source, without directing it through someone else.
5) I believed Jesus (pbuh) was perhaps a prophet whose teachings were corrupted.
6) A person shouldn't have to partake in secret ceremonies if he/she is pious enough to be let into heaven.
7) We don't reincarnate.
8) The Word of God (holy texts) should be unaltered by the hand of man. In other words, God's Book needs to be as it was when a prophet received the message in the first place. God's Word shouldn't have to "change with the times" or be twisted to "fit" a man-made ideal.
9) Atheism is a faith in itself. They (atheists) can't disprove the existence of God anymore than true believers can prove His existence to a non-believer with a closed heart. However, I chose to believe.
Does any of these concepts sound familiar?
Then one day about two years ago in a bookstore I came across a "Lonely Planet" travel guide to Morocco. I was just passing time sipping coffee so I picked it up and sat down. In it was a short description of the prevalent faith of the region, Islam. Even though I didn't take things for face value, weren't these the guys that routinely beat their wives and forced conversion via sword or uzi? Didn't they all have a death wish for the West? Well, I really didn't believe that to be the case, but nonetheless it was one of the faiths still left waiting for me to research and find full of gaping holes. What I found out in that small synopsis sling-shot me straight over to the "religion" section whereupon I gabbed up a copy of "The Everything Understanding Islam Book" by Christine Huda Dodge.
As I began to read about Islam something wonderful touched my heart. This was NOT the violent faith the media loved to use as a scapegoat for world suffering, in fact, if anything, they couldn't have been further from the truth. Not only did this book dismiss any prejudices I may have had, but Islamic ideals were virtually the same as my own, only better. This inspired me to continue researching Islam.
One day months later it dawned on me that a small restaurant I frequented in Salt Lake City (I lived there for years but had moved to Idaho) was actually owned and run by Muslims. I knew these people for a while and they were perhaps the most honest, kind, generous, and friendly family I'd ever met. I just didn't know what faith they belonged to. I decided to stop in and ask a few questions. By this time I had read multiple books on Islam and I needed to talk to someone about it. I think I must have completely surprised the owner, Arif, when I brought up the subject. After a short discussion Arif asked me if I had read the Qur'an and if I hadn't would I like to? Well, of course I would!
He didn't have a Qu'ran available but promised he would get me a copy on my next visit. After finishing my meal (man it was good!) I returned to Idaho Falls, Idaho where I was living at the time. I couldn't make it back to SLC for months, but when I did, I walked in and as promised, Arif had a Qu'ran in a drawer by the front counter for me to take home. Keep in mind this was months later. He kept it there all this time. That meant a lot to me.
The first chance I got I began to read and study it. I was amazed at the tone command it presented. Ideas were laid out in a unique repetitive fashion that although slightly confusing in English, had the feel of poetry. I learned that in Arabic, the Qur'an is considered to be the apex of poetic recital, unrivaled by anything or anyone else, of which mankind cannot better. Even in English, I was swept up into it and before I finished, I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that Allah, through the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) had answered my prayers and opened my heart to what I have been searching for all my life. I could do nothing but weep and wipe tears from my face.
To bring this story to a temporary conclusion, I recently moved back to Salt Lake City. There are several Mosques in the area and I needed to be around others who share my faith. Arif took me in as a brother and I took the Shahadah last Friday. It's a big mosque, lots of Muslims from all over the world worship there. I never had to hug and grasp hands with so many people in my life! I feel truly fortunate! Thank you Allah, the Most Forgiving, the Most Compassionate! All Praises to Him!
I have so much yet to learn but with a joyous heart I start a new journey...
Happy Ramadan! |
